Circumstances and experiences are different.  People look at circumstances and assume experience.  For example, if someone is rich and a celebrity (circumstances) you assume that they are happy (experience).  When experience contradicts circumstances, it is hard for people to understand why. They find it a curiosity when your pain is exposed.  They don’t get it.

No matter what your circumstances are, God understands your experience.  Your outside condition may be prosperous.  You may be living in a beautiful house, and have 2.5 beautiful accomplished children.  Your lifestyle and circle of friends may be exclusive.  You may be known all over the world, or the company, for the quality of your work.  You may be the most popular girl at school, in the neighborhood, or in your industry.  By all appearances, you are successful.  And outsiders looking in peer at you with admiration or envy, depending on their inclination.

But nobody knows how really broken you are.  Nobody knows how lonely you are.  Nobody knows how he speaks to you, controls you, or berates you when you are in private. Your friend/boyfriend/husband is admired by everyone but you, because you know your real life.

When they admire you, they are admiring an image of you, a fully functional PR machine, not the real you.  And you can’t tell.

To that woman, I have a message.  God sees you.  He knows.  And He is listening.

You cannot expunge your pain by creating more pain.  There is an answer, and, guess what?  The answer really is Jesus .

How is that, you ask?   Jesus offers you a real relationship with someone who really loves you.  How can I have a relationship with someone who is dead, you ask?  You can’t have a relationship with someone who is dead.  But you can have one with someone who is alive.  Jesus is not dead, He is alive.

Talk to Him as if He really is there, and you will find that He is.

It may start off feeling like a long distance relationship, but when he begins to talk back to you, it feels like He is in the room.

After a while, you have conversations all the time, and He couldn’t be more present if he were sitting next to you.  He becomes someone you go to when everything else makes no sense whatsoever.  He becomes the one you have a conversation with all day long, you asking questions, and him answering them.  In moments of confusion, you ask him what to do, and he clearly tells you.  He becomes closer than a journal, someone to whom you unburden your heart.  He becomes the one who takes care of you, sometimes in supernatural ways, sometimes in normal ways.  When you feel abandoned, you tell him about it.  And he assures you that you will be o.k., that he never has and never will abandon you.

He becomes your best friend.  Forever.

You soon find that your difficulties have driven you into a closer relationship with Him, because you need him so badly.  You need His reassurance that you are o.k., that you are not crazy.  He tells you that he sees you, what you are dealing with in life, what you are going through.  He whispers to you that He is not unaware of how you feel.  He knows when you feel like crying, and when you feel like laughing.

And guess what? You will find yourself laughing more because of the intimate funny things he says to you. He can find humor in anything. You enter into a joy that has nothing at all to do with circumstances.

You know how, when you are in a great relationship but having trouble at work, the great relationship can make you smile during a crummy day? That’s how God is, He makes you smile and laugh and giggle to yourself even in crummy circumstances.  He likes it not only when you cry out to Him, but when you laugh with Him.

My job, my friends, is to point the way out of your pain into God’s presence.  Take my advice.  Draw close to Him by talking to Him.  The more challenges life presents in your experience, the more frequently and passionately you must talk to Him.  He is the problem solver.  He is a constant companion.  He loves you desperately.  And He wants you to be His intimate friend.

He will never, ever reject you. In His eyes, it is o.k. for you to be you.  The real you.  And He is the only one that can make you fully, completely a wonderful, self-expressed you.  He sees in you the precious woman He has created. And he cannot wait to expose His creation to the world for the beautiful thing it is.

Jesus is the answer when your circumstances and experience conflict. He knows.  He cares.  And He will help you.  Ask Him.

Thank you, Lord for my husband.

Sometimes, ladies, we forget to be thankful for our husbands.  Right now mine is sitting at a table across from me staring into his computer.  He is planning his trip to Florida.  He will be working there for a few months, and is considering flights.  He is trying to make sure he spends enough time with me on the weekends.

That is so cool.

I like it that my husband still wants to be with me after 27 years.  I am not quite sure why!

But then, it doesn’t matter why.

At some point,  you just have to get over each other’s faults, and accept each other as you are.

Many times you see your mate’s faults, and not your own.  And your mate sees your faults and not his own.  So each of you spend a lot of time trying to explain to the other person what’s wrong with them.

And for what?  After all the effort you put into explaining to your mate the self-improvment measures he could take, he still doesn’t accept your performance evaluation.   And he doesn’t seem to appreciate the performance improvement plan you have so carefully worked out.

In fact, he resents it.

Why?

Your husband wants to be your hero, not your whipping post.

He wants you to think he is great, not that he is greatly irritating.

Get it?  He wants praise and not condemnation.

But you say, “He really gets on my nerves.  He doesn’t pick up after himself.  He doesn’t care about my feelings, he is only interested in himself,…etc, etc, etc.”

We are all human.  The problem is that he does have faults.  And the longer you live with him, if you keep looking for his faults, you will find more and more of them to criticize.

But criticizing him will create a chaism that will keep you from getting what you want, even what you need from him.  He will be so degraded that he can’t respond in love to you.  He will be filled with such a sense of inadequacy that he won’t be able to provide an adequate living for you.  And he will resent you so much that he doesn’t even want to try.

There are always faults, minor and major, that can be discovered.  But there are good things to discover as well.

Paul puts it this way in Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things”.

How about applying this scripture to your husband?

What is it that is true about him that you like?  Think about that.

What about him is noble? (There has to be something!)  Think about that.

What is right about him?  Think about that.

What is it that is pure?  Does he have a pure heart?  Pure motives?  Is he a little boy on the inside?  What does the little boy look like? How does the little boy feel right now?  Think about that.

What is lovely about him?

And especially - what about him is admirable?  Make sure you think about that!

And finally, what about your husband is excellent, or praiseworthy?  Think about these things.

As you concentrate on what is good, you will find your critical spirit transforming into a grateful spirit.

Some of you have husbands who have addictions that have overwhelmed you.  You cannot see the good for having had to live with the addiction.  If he needs help for his addiction, loving him and yourself may mean that you seek counseling on how to handle the problem he has, and how to take care of yourself in the midst of it.

But you don’t have to hate him to help him.

And don’t let him make you hate you.  When you hate others, you end up hating who you become.  So still, the scripture applies.

Think about your husband today, and when you do, think biblically.  Then watch and see how God will delight your heart, transform your mind, and renew your spirit.  God’s Word always brings fruit.  Enjoy the fruit of your spirit of gratitude.

 

I had a chance to spend a couple of days in the country last week.  It was wonderful.  By 6:00 a.m. I had my door open taking in the fresh air, looking over my wood porch onto the nearby lakefront.  Wonderful.

I have nothing against the city, mind you.   I love New York.  Great shopping, great museums, and great people.  I have lived in Dallas for over 25 years, and have enjoyed it thoroughly.  But there is something about the countryside that is strangely attractive to me these days.  I can actually hear the chirp of the birds in the nearby trees, and enjoy the precious quiet that I so infrequently experience in the city.

The Bible says that one day you and I will experience a city that is not made with the hands of people.   God will give us a city that He Himself has built for us.   It will be beautiful. In Psalm 46, the city is described as being filled with streams.  “There is a river”, Psalm 46  reads, “the streams thereof shall make glad the city of God.”  A city filled with streams.  Pleasant streams.  Beautiful.

I wonder if our human delights in the streams of waters that we observe on lakefronts and in pools, in oceans and in parks, reflect our desire to see the peace and provision of God made manifest in our daily lives.  If so, may He continue to draw us into His peaceful presence through His most basic provision, water.

Have you ever really thought about water?

Water is capable of nurturing and destroying.

Water is capable of comforting and creating chaos.

Water is capable of giving and taking.

Why  is that?  Because water, or the whole earth for that matter, has no intrinsic power to be good or bad.  Both the earth and all its’ elements simply exist in the context of God’s enduring grace.   God is in control of His creation.  According to the book of Revelation, one day the earth will be destroyed.   Until then, of course we must take care of it.  But we must not worship it.  It is only the earth.  It has no power on its’ own.

Jesus demonstrated His power over nature in Matthew 8.  Although the earth is out of your control, it is still under God’s control.  It is comforting to know that, in times of storm, God can still intervene based on the cries of His people for help.  He can still say, “Peace, be still.”

Sin is the reason we have so many problems with the earth.  The fall of Adam and Eve in the garden initiated the problems the earth is having.  It was doing fine, but experienced a curse when Adam was cursed.  Adam was made from the earth, and when Adam sinned, earth suffered.  Mankind and the earth are connected. You can read the curse on the earth in Genesis 3.

Sometimes people blame God for what happens in nature.  But the truth is, sin has an effect on nature.

Romans 8:19, 20 put it this way,

“The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.  We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.”

In other words, creation is waiting for its great release into peace.  It was cursed after the fall of man, and is now frustrated.  This was not by its’ own choice.  The earth wasn’t created to convulse and spit the way it is doing now.  Sin causes the earth to groan and we feel it’s’ groaning.

What is the Christian’s comfort?  The protection of God.

Psalm 46 reads, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried in the midst of the sea, though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.  Selah.”

No matter what happens in nature, God is your refuge.  Not only is He your place of protection, but you can find strength in Him.  He is right there, helping you and ever ready to help you more.  He will meet every need that you have.

“There is a river, the streams thereof shall make glad the city of God.”  The millennial city.  New Jerusalem.  It will be absolutely, positively magnificent.  And the best part of it all is that I will be seeing it with you.

But until then, I will trust God.  Will you?

I will cry out to Him in times of need.  Will you?

I will seek His protection in times of storm.  Will you?

I will pray for worldwide revival, to ease the burden of sin on the earth.  Will you?

I will continue to be confident that God is my very present help in time of trouble, will you?

In light of tomorrow, you can trust Him today.  He still loves you.  He will still take care of you.  He is your very present help in every circumstance, at every time, in every way. His love overcomes all adversity.  He is your lifeboat.  Climb in.

There are times when people say things to you that are hurtful, or do things to you that are hurtful.

Some times they mean to, and sometimes they don’t.

But this is true: That no matter what people say to you about you, or do to you, Jesus loves you.

He created you like he wanted you to be. If He wanted you to be different, He would have created you differently.

He knows where you are in your life right now. If you are doing your best to live for Him, according to His Word, then you need to realize that no one can condemn you for your shortcomings. Sure you will have them, but the person condemning you does, too.

If anyone tells you what you can’t do, or tries to declare that you will not succeed, forgive them. They do not know what they are saying. The book of James teaches us that “The tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature, and is set on fire by hell.” Hell empowered their tongue, but if you have the Holy Spirit living inside of you, you have more power than hell. Refuse to believe it when people prognosticate about your failure. They have faults, too. They just have not been given the grace to see them yet.

Beside, God will take sides against those who condemn you. The book of James also teaches of those who let loose their tongue against others, “The judge is standing at the door.”

So your responsibility is to forgive. Release them from your need to make them pay for what they said or did. From your anger. From your need to get them back. You don’t want to get in the way of what God wants to do in your life, or in theirs.

You must forgive. Why? Unforgiveness blocks you from receiving God’s gifts to you. Don’t block God’s goodness to you by trying to keep His goodness away from somebody else. Forgive them, even as God forgives you when you do something wrong.

And then watch God move on your behalf. He can communicate what you cannot. He has ways of bringing your offender to him, seeking His love and forgiveness. And He has ways of exercising justice that you have not even dreamed of.

He also has ways of healing, restoring, and releasing you. Sometimes that takes time, but wait. It will happen. Just draw close to Him. It isn’t God’s fault that people are mean. So don’t blame Him and run away from Him. He loves you. Run toward Him.

God is love. His love extends to you, and calls those who hurt you to repentance. And if they don’t repent, His justice will not let it go.

Trust God when you have been hurt. He can take care of you.

I told the Lord I wanted to spend the day with Him. What I thought would happen was that I would be on my knees in my office with lights turned low, seeking his face. Or that I would be laying prostrate before Him in my living room, blinds closed, and music softly playing in the background.

But, no! That’s not what He had in mind at all!

I did get up very early, and head to my home office. As planned, I turned the lights off, and started praying.

Then I got overwhelmingly sleepy.

Now, I know a lot of people get sleepy when they are praying. But I don’t. I can count on one hand the times I have gotten sleepy during prayer in the past year! I mean, I almost never get sleepy! But this time I did. So I said, “Lord, do you want me to go back to bed?” Strangely, He said, “Yes”!

Out of obedience, went back to the bedroom in order to climb into bed. I met my husband as he was leaving the bedroom. I hugged him, and felt him relax in my arms. It was morning, and he was already tired and not feeling well. I said, “O.K., Lord, I get it.” We lay back down and talked awhile. About the time he was ready to get up, I was drifting back off to sleep.

And I woke up at 9:00.

Another thing I never do.

I looked at the clock in disbelief and said “O.K., Lord, what are we going to do now?”

He said, “Get dressed, let’s go!”

The day was beautiful, a perfect Texas spring day. Upper 70’s. Sunny. A few sparse clouds dotted the sky for decoration, casting mists of white onto the pale blue background. A gentle wind blew the dried leaves off nearby branches. Pink spring blossoms popped from the fresh crape myrtles lining our narrow lane. The rush hour crowd had passed, and only a few lonely cars darted through nearby intersections.

As I drove, I glanced across a newly green park, my eyes wandering into the waterfall of sprinkle-water. Azaleas swept the grassy border, and the sun had carefully chose that moment to reflect its’soft glimmer off the serene surface of a nearby lake.

Breathtaking.

The Lord talked to me all day, implanting ideas in my relaxed mind. We visited Hobby Lobby and Michaels, where thoughts of monthly themes for His work sung from the shelves.

He talked to me about Haiti and Japan, and what to say to you.

He talked about things He wants done this year, and how He wants them done.

And He talked about some things I am not supposed to tell you yet!

We had a wonderful time. In the sun. Enjoying His creation.

Isn’t it fun when He surprises you?

The important thing is to give Him the opportunity to do so. It is possible to be so engrossed in your plans, even plans you believe are good, that you forget that you cannot put God in your box. He doesn’t always do things your way – or even the way you expect!.

God wants to surprise you with His grace and delight you with His presence.

The servant of our Lord, Alex Kendrick, who directed the movie Fireproof was sharing his experience with a few believers in Jesus Christ about a year ago. There was something he said that I will never forget.

“There are a lot of good ideas. Wait until you get a God idea.”

In your life, are you able to hear your God ideas, or are you too busy with good ideas? Do you hear God when He speaks, or are there voices drowning Him out? If He comes out of the box you have put Him in, and wants to do something unexpected, is that fine with you?

Choose to be surprised by His love, by His plans, by His integrity, by His passion, by His direction. Give God your plans, and He will give you His.

God loves surprises, and He has one just for you! Won’t you untie the box of your life and open it up to Him, and see what He wants to put in it? I can tell you this, there will be nothing like it, you will have more fun than you could ever imagine! Let go, and let God.